#anyway this was actually fun to think about

[choppedsouldreamer]

OOOH, this seems fun! hm, what's an interesting fact or story about me? oh I know! (get ready it's a long one)

fun fact: one time me and my sister were getting ready to go out for something to do and during this time we were in both in our rooms which are at the other side of the hallway upstairs from our parents room, distracted by getting changed and stuff. During this time my dad was doing a job where he worked outside a lot and he's a messy fucker so he would bring in grass, twigs, stones, you name it, he would bring it home from working in long grass and trimming bushes. Anyway, this comes into play when my sister goes into my parents bedroom then suddenly screams a Harry Potter reference being "TREVOR!!" if you have never watched Harry Potter for some reason then this will all make sense but if you have then um...congratulations you know where this story is heading. I was at first confused because I was just casually getting dressed and then I see her book it down stairs and hear her freaking out, my mum wasn't worried at first that much because all she heard from my sister was... "THERE IS A FROG UPSTAIRS" I strolled my ass to the room, my brain not putting the pieces together yet from all the commotion and look down at this brown thing on the floor thinking "huh, my dogs down have a brown dog treat" then the mf blinks at me and that was the moment it all clicked into place. Luckily being the only real one in my house that isn't afraid of a lot of stuff except from my dad (he wasn't there he was at work so I was the only saviour smh) I legit only said "oh" in response. Yeah, Trevor is the name of a frog in Harry Potter and that was my sisters first reaction, well done big sis, anyway, being the only capable one in the damn house of dealing with basically any animal, I get a bag and skilfully catch the frog dude with one throw (true gamer) and during all of this my mum was finally freaking out as well due to realising the frog was actually in HER room, cause she thought before it was in my sisters and that was why she was so chill about it (way to go mum lol) but in the end I set the guy free outside, but literally the next day we got a CHUNKY ASS TOAD in the garden that I also had to catch, ngl he was kinda heavy and was actually fine with me scooping him in a bag and then letting him go free some where else, so yeah, I'm a certified frog catcher!

My mum also thinks there was a possibility that the frog that went upstairs some how come through the garden door and went through our front room up the stairs since we had the door open for hours late at night but I think it's literally impossible since 1: we were all there so we would have seen it, 2: my dogs would have noticed for sure, one of them loves frogs and 3: that would be a long ass distance for a frog to travel-

I still personally think it was my dad's fault for being a lazy son of a bitch and never checking or emptying out his pockets smh

(screw it what's a fun fact about yourself also @ people I'll go first I'm allergic to myself

@escapetheslaughter

@ugly-astral-taurus

@bees-official

@gremlininthedark

@bloodmoon-da-idiot

@multifandomcutie13 )

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

SHOULD HAVE KISSED YOU

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem! Summary: when made to participate in a school fundraiser, Eddie finds himself actually having fun. Warnings: none

Prequel here!

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"Mister Munson, you have to be a part of this school!" Principal Higgins exclaimed to the boy sitting on the other side of the desk, protesting

"I've been apart of this shitty school for 6 years" Eddie hummed lowly

"what was that?" the older man raised and eyebrow, his hands on his hips as he looked down at the rebellious teen in front of him

"what do you want me to do?" he got in response

"Miss Kelley is holding a fundraiser- u-an auction, of sorts.. you'll be participating"

Eddie frowned "an auction? what you want me to go up and hold items for people to bid on?"

"you'll be the item"

Eddie scoffed "what's that supposed to even mean?"

he stared at the principal and almost laughed, was this a joke? he fails a few times and is now being punished

"it means you'll go up and girls will bid on you- a date with you"

oh Eddie definitely laughed at that, does he think he's funny? he must because that was the funniest thing Eddie's ever heard

"yeah, right" he snorted

"Mister Munson, do you want to graduate this year?" Higgins asked rhetorically.

this wasn't a joke, this was serious

"what's a stupid fundraiser going to do to help me graduate?!" Eddie raised his voice before looking away when the man scolded him

"well, lucky for you, Edward, this school will do just about anything to get rid of you-" The older man started before getting cut off by Eddie

"-How flattering" he hummed

"-so, we'll be granting you with extra credit if you do this, and if you get at least a C in Miss O'donnells, it will be enough for you to graduate" the man finished, crossing his arms

"what type of fundraiser activity is that anyway! I'm no help, I can assure you no body is bidding on me, Higs" Eddie rolled his eyes

"well, lucky for you, you don't need to be bidded on to participate, just showing up is enough"

"this is ridiculous" Eddie mumbled, slumping down in his chair

there was no way he was going to do this.

"oh please, Mister Munson, It's not the end of the world, just a simple date to the fun fair is the most you'll do" Mister Higgins shook his head, deciding this was the end of the discussion.

he shooed Eddie out of his office after telling a few simple details about the night he should be ready for

"and please, have some school spirit" he said before closing the door behind Eddie.

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You sat in the school gym with your friends when Miss Kelley announces the boys up for auction

you had already seen the list a week prior and and had no interest, unlike your friend, Becky, who was more than excited to bet on a handsome mister Mike Lewenski.

your opinions on the fundraiser were mixed.

although a great way to make a few bucks, it was more of a way on telling which girl liked who. but even so, if they won the guy, it's a free date without the definite rejection most of them would face if they had just asked the guy out

so, while it saves a few rejections here and there, and could be seen as a trial run for a relationship, it's also a pit of thirsty women who want to dig their teeth in to a free date with a cute guy, especially if it's Gary McKlaren.

so to say you were the least interested was correct, but you were open to any changes if proven wrong.

The boys walked in the Gym single file and lined up behind Miss Kelley

you snorted at the sight of Eddie Munson 2nd last in line

you had browsed the list at least 3 times, you think you'd notice his name on the paper on the notice board. he must have been a last minute addition, which is pretty smart if you look at how many girls there are in school ready to bid.

but Eddie Munson, the freak? were they having a laugh?

you'd spoken to the guy a max of 5 times this year, he wasn't actually as bad as people made him out to be.

you weren't friends though; you wouldn't go that far. you'd be metaphorically killed if you were associated with him, so God forbid that ever happening.

Eddie huffed, looking out to the Gym seats.

he'd rather be doing anything else right now other than being at school, on a saturday afternoon, ready to be humiliated in front of what looks like 100 girls he's never spoken to (and doesn't plan to)

he frowned at the outfits the other boys had dressed up in, adorned in button up shirts and trousers, some even had a bowtie around their necks.

He mentally shook his head at the effort, because as they all dressed up fancy, like the organisers of this stupid even told them to, Eddie was still dressed in his normal attire, Black jeans and a dio shirt, his leather jacket hiding the cut off sleeves Eddie had fixed it up with. it's not like he was here to impress anyway

he would be here for 30 minutes max before driving back home alone.

"lets bring up our first boy of the evening, shall we. Toby Glover, everybody!" Miss Kelley claps.

She went on to describe the boy, hobbies, likes and interests before looking out to the crowed

"starting the bid at five dollars!" she smiled before a girl put her hand up, then a few others

Toby was baught at 20 dollars to Tracy Dekert.

then the next boy was up. Dylan Mantella.

it took a few seconds for a girl to put her hand up. but then another one did.

Dylan was bought for 10 dollars by Gracie Moore.

Jason Carver stood tall as he took a step closer, immediatley being bought by Chrissy for 5.

Then it was Mike Lewenski.

"He likes to play Football and the band Queen" Miss Kelley smiled

Becky's hand flew up as soon as the teacher announced 5 dollars, and glared at the girl on the other side of the bleachers when she outbidded her

"15!" Becky yelled out before the other girl said "17!"

they went back and fourth a few times before the other girl huffed and ran out of money

Mike was bought for 23 dollars by Becky, who cheered beside you

Then it was Gary McKlaren.

Miss Kelley didnt even get to describe his hobbies before a bidding war broke out. at least 10 girls fighting for him

yeah, he was popular. it made sense

Gary was bought for 50 dollars by Denise Weller.

Brian Gibley was bought for 5 dollars

Matthew Schneebly was bought for 25 dollars

and then Thomas Smith stood there for a few moments

that was when 2 girls put their hand up

you weren't sure if that was out of pity or they were just too shy to put their hand up, But Thomas looked like a whole bunch of weight lifted off of him when he was bought for 8 dollars

"now we have the...lovely Mister Edward Munson!" Miss Kelley announced, she looked nervous as she said his name, trying to find a praise but had to lie through her teeth

Eddie stood forward and clicked his tongue, looking out dully to the seats of girls and young women.

"E-Eddie likes um- Metal music? and uh- is a owner of a club" she spoke, she didn't know anything about Eddie, only that he was a satanist.

"5 dollars?" She announced with a tight smile, looking out to the crowd

you looked down at Eddie from your seat

his hands were in his pockets, he definitely didn't want to be here, but you could tell by the silence in the room he was...insecure?

you looked around the room, did no girl want him? did no girl see anything in him?

surely there was one girl to look past the scary demeanor of his figure and see something to like, but the only thing to hear was an awkward cough

you frowned, you felt bad, you really did.

Eddie looked down at his feet when Miss Kelley spoke into the mic "no bidders?" she asked as if she didn't know no body wasn't going to buy him

you closed your eyes and slowly lifted your hand.

it was just because you felt bad

"oh, we have a bidder! 5 dollars going once, twice, SOLD!" she banged her gravel on the wood. surprised.

Eddie munson was bought for 5 dollars. by you.

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Eddie was surprised when you put your hand up.

but Eddie was very Surprised to see you walk up to him afterwards, a smile on your face, a tight one, he knew it wasnt real

"hey" you greeted

Eddie looked at you confused, like you had grown two heads or that something was wrong with you, but he replied nonetheless

"hi" he said

you looked around the hall, seeing the floods of single girls walk out of the hall, glaring at you with the same look Eddie had a second ago.

"so um-" he licked his lips, sighing

"we don't have to go on the date.." you spoke in a rush, looking back at him

of course, Eddie thought to himself, of course you wouldn't want to go on a date with him

Eddie kicked himself for thinking you would for a split second.

"if you don't want to" he shook his head

this was awkward.

so awkward

"it's not that I.. don't want to. i do...but you- you probably have better things to do so..." you hummed, rolling on your ankles as you looked away from him

"I dont...and I don't want you spending money on me for nothing.." he mumbled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

you were probably the first girl to talk to him, Willingly, without buying drugs- the first girl to be nice to him to his face.

Eddie doesn't get that often, or at all for that matter, so you were...special. you could say. to him.

you weren't friends, you probably didn't want that. and he doesn't blame you, but it still hurts deep down, where he wont admit it

"it's fine.. it would be embarrassing to be the only person who didn't get bought so..."

yep, that was the only reason you bidded on him, you both thought to yourself

"yeah, I guess you're my saviour, then" he joked, though he didn't find any humour in it

Because you had told him you bought him out of pity, thats not funny or you being nice, thats just sad.

you agreed to the joke and looked around, the hall was empty now, all the girls gone, a few out to their date and all the rest on their way home, alone. some going to the fair with their friends.

"I'll uh- see you next week then?" you stepped back, going to walk away

"I thought you wanted to go?" he frowned

"i thought you didn't?" you raised an eyebrow

"eh.. i feel like i owe it to you, besides i think Principal Higgins and Miss Kelley will be there and if they don't see us- or at least me there, I won't get my credit cause i left you" he shrugged

that was it, it was just for the extra credit

"ok, sure" you nodded

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you walked side by side into the fun fair, you were a little nervous to say the least but it's not like you were gonna be here for a long time

Eddie had said he owed you and just wanted to be seen, so he'd probably just say a quick hello to the principal and spend five bucks on a quick game before calling it a day

that seemed fair, though.

he brought you over to the little games with various toys hung on the wall

"you wanna play a game? i'll try to win you a bear or somethin'" he looked down at you, pointing to the stall where you shoot at a few cans to win

you shrugged when you met his gaze, his big brown eyes full of the bright colours from the lights flashing from the games, the yellows and reds illuminating his face as he turned to you.

he looked pretty good

"sure" you replied shortly, looking away from him, letting him guide you to the line.

his hands were in his pockets as he looked around briefly. it made you wonder if he wanted to be here.

but on the inside, Eddie was almost shitting himself, cause here he was, in the line of a game with you next to him. this was a date, unadmittably his first date- if it even counted

and it's not just because it's a date, it's because it's with you, the only girl- bloody hell- woman that's ever been nice to him. to look at him like he's not a freak who sold his soul to the devil.

and God, did you have to look so pretty good?

he looked away when you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and stepped forward, it now being your turn

the guy spoke enthusiastically, explaining the rules as Eddie picked up the fake gun.

you took the time to scan over the plush toys, the big bat hanging upsidedown from the roof of the stall made you smile.

you smiled at Eddie as he lifted the gun to his face, squinting his eyes before shooting his first shot.

your eyebrows raised at his shot, impressed as you stood beside him

Eddie lowerd the gun, putting another pellet in the gun when he caught your gaze, looking over at you awkwardly

you blinked and smiled tightly at him before looking away "did- sorry did you want to shoot?" he frowned, now noticing that he should have let you play- or at least asked you

"oh no, it's ok I uh- I don't know how to shoot a gun" you breathed, letting out a dry chuckle

"it's pretty easy, here" one of his hands let go of the gun to each out for your own hand.

you let him take your hand and you tried to hide the blush rising quickly on your cheeks, looking away as he pulled you closer

he stood behind you, his broad chest against your back as he instructed you, you held the gun with his hands over yours, his arms wrapping around your frame to help you

"Just look through this little hole right here." he pointed to a little circle on the top of the gun, and you slowly raised the gun to your face, quinting to look through the hole.

"aim it" he told you

you lined it up with the can and he took one of your fingers to place it on the trigger.

the feeling of his hot breath fanning on your neck sent shivers down your shine as it contrasted with the cold brisk air, but you were so hot right now.

did he have to be so close to you?

he waited a second before he pressed on your finger, pressing down on the trigger, shooting the gun.

you closed your eyes as the loud bang and the feeling of him pressing up against you. Why did you like it?

"ahh good try, you just grazed it" Eddie spoke, mumbling something that you couldn't here before you opened your eyes

you could see a little dent in the can but it hadn't toppled over or fallen, signifying a miss.

you shoulders dropped and your frowned, looking over your shoulder to see Eddie smiling softly

"you'll get it this time" he reassured you, lowering the gun

you shook your head "i'll let you do it, you obviously know what you're doing" you flushed, smiling before stepping to the side to get out of his hold

it was then when Eddie realised that he was manhandling you and his eyes slightly widened. Had he made you uncomfortable? he really hoped he hadn't. he dropped his hands and let you slip away from in-between him and the gun and looked away sheepishly

you finally felt like you could breathe as you let out a deep sigh you didn't know you were holding

why was he making you feel this way?

Eddie put another pellet in the gun and shot it effortlessly before he put the last one in.

he didn't even flinch at the loud bang! noise it made when he shooted, or lost his footing, he was a natural.

you don't know what you expected though, he looked like the kind of guy who knew how to shoot a gun, he had that look to him

you didn't want to say it but- he did have the dangerous kind of look to him, but throught the few talks you've had with him, you would hightly doubt he would even shoo away a stray cat if it made home on his porch.

he put the final pellet in and aimed it before shooting it, you watched as it bounced off the bar and fall back to the ground.

you smiled and clapped when the guy announced a winner

"so..what will it be for the lovely lady?" he said looking at you as you stood forward.

the long haired metalhead looked over at you, nodding to the wall of toys.

you opened your mouth, and your eyes landed on the bat again, pointing up at it "the bat?"

the man smiled and got the bat down, passing it to Eddie as you backed away to get out of the line, which was small but growing impatient.

Eddie followed after you and handed the bat to you.

"here ya' go" he smiled.

the bat was even bigger than it looked, bigger than your head, at least.

you brought it up to your chest and thanked him before walking awkwardly away from the stall

"you're pretty good with a gun" you said break the silence between you and him, the blush on your face appearing again as you looked over at him

"yeah? well.. my dad taught me when I was younger so... had a good teacher I guess" he let out a breathy chuckle, kicking his feet.

of course. everyone knew the stories of AL Munson. so your weren't surprised when Eddie told you he made him go hunting with him before he got sent to prison

"made me shoot more than just tin cans.." He shighed

you hummed, walking towards the enterance before Eddie stopped you

"Where are ya' going?" he asked, a deep frown covering his features as he looked around

you grew confused too "I- I thought we were leaving?"

Eddie's face dropped at your words, looking down "oh. I mean if you want to. I just thought- I- I was kinda havin' fun. with you so..."

Eddie was having fun with you; it wasn't a lie. he didn't want to leave just yet, he wanted to play a few more games and if he got lucky, get to know you more. he doesn't know exactly why but he knew he liked being with you tonight

but it's probably because it's either this date with you, or a lonesome date between him, his couch and a cold can of beer.

you stepped back to him and smiled "I am too... I just thought- but yeah, let's go"

the sky turned dark as Eddie and you played a few more games and shared a fairyfloss stick.

you were having fun, laughing and getting embarrased when you got shoved closer to Eddie when a few kids ran past you to the rotating tea cups.

"sorry" you mumbled, stepping away from the metalhead as he tensed up at the contact.

"'s'okay" he smiled, noticing the way you hugged the bat plush in your arms

it was night time- and winter. So were you cold?

so he asked you "d'ya want ma'jacket?"

he frowned when you shook your head quickly "no it's ok, don't worry"

you felt your cheeks grow hot again as he began taking his leather jacket off, exposing his biceps arms that were adorned in dark tattoos.

the bats caught your eye.

you had seen them before, of course, but they made you frown

you looked down at your bat plush toy and hid your face in it sheepishly

when it caught your eye, you didn't know why you were drawn to it the way you were

it reminded you of something, but at the time you picked it, you just couldn't pinpoint it

but now, looking at his tattoo, you realised it was that and you grew embarrassed, did he think you wanted it because of him? well technically you did- no, no you just liked it...right?

"it's ok, really" you shook your head as he handed it out to you

"Please, I don't want you to be cold" he pleaded

he was such a gentleman, you don't get why people did see that, there was something clearly wrong with society to shut out this beautiful specimin of a man like him, he's just so kind and gentle. no- snap out it.

you squeezed the fluff of your plush as he draped it over your shoulders, smiling

"what about you?" you wondered

he only shrugged "m'fine" he looked down, putting his hands in his pockets "as long as you're warm"

you chuckled softly as you looked around

"ferris wheel?" he asked after a beat

you looked to the ferris wheel and nodded "sure"

you let him guide you and you smiled as you got the line

the fair music filled your ears as you slowly moved up the line.

the line was pretty long, trying to see the lights from above and the kids thinking they can see the whole town from the top. they were wrong but let kids be kids, you thought.

when you reached the front, you stepped up and Eddie quickly handed the guy a few coins, letting your guys on. you sat down, your bat plush sat on your lap as the guy pulled the bar down, letting it click before leaving you with Eddie in the closer proximity

your shoulder to shoulder with Eddie when it began to move. going backwards

you looked over at him and smiled sheepishly before looking away

he cleared his throat before pointing to the bat you were cuddling

"do you like bats?" he questioned

you looked down and shook your head

"no..not really. I just thought he was cute" you shrugged

he hummed "have you named him?"

you giggled "no, not yet" you looked at him, finding a teasing smile on his lips and you furrowed your eyebrows.

"I don't- It might be childish, but I don't have a lot of them..." you soft quietly, fiddling with your fingers as the ferris wheel went up again

"No.. I.. I don't think it's childish.. I have a uh- I have a bear on my bed.. Ozzy... so. it's cute" he nudged your shoulder softly

you smiled, still a little embarrassed but it made you feel better that he admitted that.

you think it was cute.. that he of all people slept with a teddy bear, you feel as though you've learnt a lot about him today

it's almost like this wa a real date.

it made you hope he thought it was a real date too.

"do you..like bats?" you pointed to his swarm of bats tattooed on his arm

he looked down and nodded

"yeah I guess.. it's more of that they are seen for good luck and uh..protection.. I guess" he mumbled the last bit

you raised your eyebrows "really?" you tilted your head

"yeah.. don't know where i found that but I though i needed it so..."

"cool" you nodded

his eyes met yours again and you saw his adams apple bob in his throat as he looked at you

your bench stopped at the top as fireworks began exploding in the sky, painting the sky in all different colours, but you didn't look away from Eddie, for some reason, your eyes stayed on him

the sprays of colour reflecting in his eyes as he looked back at you. you wonder if he could see the fireworks in your eyes too.

"thank you, for today.. I've had fun" you spoke, wanting to ease this tension in the air.

"Yeah.. I've had fun too... with you" he said

you didn't know what was happening. why butterflies filled your stomach and made you feel sickly.

Eddie was shitting himself again, the look in your eye made him so weak he was happy he was seated. you looked so pretty in this light. it almost made him want to thank Mister Higgins for making him do this. but after this, he woudn't have any reason to talk to him unless it's to tell him he'd be graduating.

he can't explain how he felt in this moment, but all he knew was that he really wanted to kiss you.

but you don't want to kiss the freak? no matter how many times you've told him you don't see him as one, that's what he is, what he always will be.

Besides. You did this out of pity, right?

Amd it's not like he likes you, right?

but all Eddie can think of as he forces himself to look away is that he wants you to like him

he wants to know why he feels this way, why the burst of colour in the sky wasn't the only fireworks in the air tonight.

he had taken you home after that, sadly saying goodbye as he drove you home, the only sound in his van being the metal music he set to low as he thought about how much of an idiot he is.

all while you had felt completley embarrassed, and if you're going to be honest, a little angry, though you're not sure why

you wanted him to kiss you, but why? you didn't like him like that, this was just because you felt bad

but you wanted him to like you.

I should have kissed him, you thought as you walked into your home.

I should have kissed her, Eddie thought to himself as he drove off.

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[kari-sims]

Tomiko Moriyama (she/they) as my entry for the Total Drama Sims season 3 by @jonquilyst!! (thanks for letting me participate <3)

also huge wall of slightly amusing text below the cut (you've been warned!) cause i was caffeinated and ended up having some fun with this ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

👩 Age: 14 🪐 Lives in: Strangerville 🐛 Goals in life: to open a bug museum 💖 Orientation: thinks girls are cute, but doesn't want to waste their short teen years chasing them around (that's what the 20's are for!) 🎶 Hidden talent: encyclopedic knowledge of kpop girl group's songs and dances 🥇 Honorable titles: -> 'Mighty Collector of the Fun Hats' -> 'Prestigious Ambassador' at the ''International Bug Diplomacy Federation'' (only actual human member, but it'll grow, just wait!) 👍Likes: iridescent beetles / cut rock hard candy / slippery mud you can draw on / putting googly eyes on random things 👎 Dislikes: homework / cleaning things that'll get dirty again / humans evil bug killing inventions (unless it's a laser shooting death ray gun for mosquitoes, cause yeah, even a bug loving girl hates those bastards!)

[RECORD 434, another sunny day in strange Strangerville]

🔴 ▶ •၊၊||၊|။||||။‌‌‌‌‌၊|•

(sound of someone clearing their throat, followed by what's obviously a kid trying to speak in an exaggerated deep voice)

Tomiko: "Tomiko is a girl who didn't need a home with walls or windows - the roof to her 'home' has always been the sky above." (pauses, mutters to themselves) Ooh that's a good one! Wait, people will think i live in the woods, no? Wouldn't that be the dream…

(moment of silence as Tomiko daydreams, then remembers she just started recording)

"Tomiko doesn't have many friends, because she was destined to be a free-spirited loner. With the exception of Clarisse, a girl who dreams ofbecoming a marine biologist. Clarisse was made fun of by strangers on a dumb internet show she went to one day, all because she wanted to win the money and go on a trip to Sulani. Now everyone calls her the 'Dolphin Girl'. After Tomiko decided to console her at lunch in school, both of them ended up bonding over their crazy obssession with nature. They've been inseparable friends ever since."

(another pause, followed by an audible sigh)

"Well, they were inseparable, until Tomiko moved away. Now Clarisse is being weird for no reason... anyways, where was i?

(forgets why they went on a Clarisse tangent and starts to fumble with their unorganized notes)

"Oh yes, destined to be a free-spirited loner, ya-da ya-da. Unfortunately, Tomiko was forced to live in a boring house made of bricks, with white furniture, and a mom who was always mad about her muddy boots on the carpet."

(voice shifts to mimic the mom's screech)

- I'm not gonna raise a savage wild child! Since you love dirt so much, go live with your bum of a father in that Strangerplace world, or whatever it's called.

"Best thing to ever happen to me!" (voice switches to normal accidentally, then goes back to the fake deep one) - I mean - best thing to ever happen to Tomiko! Even though her dad looks kinda weird lately, walking around aimlessly at night in search of his mother. Classic dad, being a weirdo. No idea how this man got married..."

- Dad, I told you grandma still lives in Willow Creek. Why do you think she's in the middle of the desert? Also, she wouldn't be caught dead wasting away her fabulous heels in this god-forsaken place.

"Tomiko pretends she doesn't see it, because now she can do whatever she wants, why complicate things? The only problem is, there isn't much to do in Strangerville with the infection rumors going on, and all the damn sus soldiers. Also, the taste of travelling for the first time has left her wanting to see more. Imagine all the bugs she could find?! But you need money for that, sooo… what to do, what to do…"

(voice returns to normal, a bit defensive)

"Okay, fine, I'm the one recording this… (sighs) I know what you're thinking - "just steal from your dad!". Seriously, who do you think I am? Anyways, I did something else instead. I heard there's this competition with other teens where you get to travel the world, and guess what? I signed up for it! Without my parents knowing, of course, but that is irrelevant. They won't even notice I'm gone, I fear. I just hope the organizers don't ask for their permission, because Clarisse was the one who knew how to fake signatures, but now she's hanging out with other kids at school, and thinks she's better than me."

(inhales, then proceeds to speak loudly at a wall, probably)

"Like... Nina? The enemy? Be so for real right now Clarisse! My life is just grand without you! I'll get to travel the world and educate people on how bugs are friends, and definitely NOT disgusting or too dangerous! Well, most times. I'll also prove that even if you're a weird bug loving kid like me, you can still have a chance at a game that requires you to make friends. It'll be eaaasy! In a few weeks I'll be like, Clarisse who? Hahah!"

(brief pause on their flex-rant, which is totally NOT a defense mechanism because she's hurt by them growing apart. They return, slightly worried)

"Do you think I can die in there? Cause gosh, let's hope not! Imagine going on an adventure of a lifetime and not being able to tell people about your heroic deeds... that'd be so lame! Anyways, I'll see you when I see you, whoever is listening to this… Tomi out!"

🟥 ▶ •ııııııııııııııııı•

[RECORD ENDS]

wow if you're still here, thanks for reading, you wonderful bean! here, have a cute snail

(´・ᴗ・)>~🐌

[wonderjanga]

Yo, Wanna Hang Out?

Billy asking people if they want to hang out at the strangest places. They hang out with him anyways regardless of the places are strange.

Marvel: *in the kitchens packing up a fishing kit looking like someone’s dad getting ready to fish*

Aquaman: *nearby, making a sandwich* “You know, I’ve never seen you wear a bucket hat let alone civilian clothes before.”

Marvel: “What do you mean? It’s a fisherman’s hat. And I’m wearing it because I’m gonna go fishing.”

Aquaman: “Still a bucket hat…”

Martian Manhunter(MM): *also nearby, rummaging through the freezer looking for ice cream* “Fishing? Where?”

Aquaman: “Are you gonna go to a big lake or something?”

Marvel: “Yeah! I’m going to the frozen over one on Mars.”

MM: *looks over, now distracted from his quest of finding ice cream* “What-”

Marvel: “The fish there are so cool looking! I was gonna catch a few and then throw them back into the water, you know?”

MM: “No… No I don’t know.” *shakes head slowly*

Aquaman: “Wait, Mars has lakes?”

Marvel: “Yeah! In the south pole. It’s under some ice. Do you wanna come?”

Aquaman: “Well, I mean sure? I’m down to fish with you, but I don’t wanna do that if I have to wear a space suit.”

Marvel: “I don’t think you have to. I remember seeing Supes wearing this thing over his mouth and nose, and it allowed him to breathe in space.”

Aquaman: “Oh cool!”

Marvel: “Yeah, but apparently it’s super cold down there.”

MM: “It is. In human degrees it’s negative 153 degrees Celsius.”

Aquaman: “What’s that in American-”

Marvel: “So yeah! You might have to bundle up or maybe I could cast the heating spell on you? Just know it’ll be really really cold. By the way, J’onn, are you coming too?”

MM: *shrugs* “If you’ll have me.”

They ended up actually getting attacked by this giant, Martian, vaguely octopus-resembling creature. It was an epic battle of which they brought some of it back to the Watchtower and ate a bunch of octopus dishes together.

or

Marvel: *packing some stuff in a little bag and whistling a little tune while dressed like a gardener*

Hawkgirl: “Captain? Are you going somewhere?”

Marvel: “Oh, I’m going to Thanagar cause I wanna pick up this species of plant that only grows there. Wanna come?”

Hawkgirl: “I sort of can’t, considering the fact the entire planet thinks I’m a war criminal for betraying them.”

Marvel: “Wear a disguise. Want me to conjure a fake mustache on you?”

Hawkgirl: *snorts* “No.”

Marvel: “You sure? It doesn’t have to be a fake mustache. We can just change some things about you, like your hair color.”

Hawkgirl: “Hmm…” *rubs her chin, thinking* “Can Carter come along?”

Marvel: “Of course!”

They got caught and ended up going on this wacky adventure of evading the authorities. They even got arrested. Multiple times. They also broke out. Multiple times. It was fun for everyone involved besides the Thanagarian Law Enforcement.

or

Marvel: *humming a tune as he stands inside of a heavily restricted building that only allows people of the highest military clearance access to*

Captain Atom: *is also here because one of his superiors told him to report here and sees Marvel* “Captain Marvel Sir? What are you-” *looks around* “What are you doing here?”

Marvel: “Hey, Atom!” *little wave* “What do you mean?”

Captain Atom: “This is a military building with restricted access. I know you have Captain in your name, but I didn’t actually think you were in any of the branches. Let alone high enough in whatever branch to have access to this place.”

Marvel: “Oh no, I’m not military. I’m just here to renew my contract. I just finished.”

Captain Atom: “Contract?”

Marvel: “See a long time ago, a.k.a. the 1950s, heroes would do contractual jobs for the United States Government. Me and the Squadron of Justice used to do a lot of them.”

Captain Atom: “So that means I’ll be seeing you around here more often?”

Marvel: “Yep! Me and the other Fawcett heroes.”

Super Duper High Level Person In the Government(SDHLPITG): *walks over while holding a clipboard* “Oh, it seems you both are already acquainted.”

Captain Atom: “Ah, yes. We’re both on the Justice League ma’am.”

SDHLPITG: “So that means you’ll be good teammates. Wonderful.” *hands a clipboard to Captain Atom* “The head honcho wants you guys to investigate a portal in Antartica.” *looks to Marvel* “Your first job back with us.” *nods to him before leaving*

Captain Atom: *starts looking through it*

Marvel: *looks over his shoulder to see it* “Isn’t that the portal that leads to the Winter Fairy realm?”

Captain Atom: “What?”

Marvel: “Oh my gosh it is! That place is super cool! Their ice cream is amazing. You should try some.” *nudges him with his elbow*

Captain Atom: “Oh- uh- Okay?” *confused if that means they’ll be interacting with the mentioned fairies*

That’s how Atom and Marvel ended up eating fairy ice cream while surrounded by a bunch of fairies who were all super happy to see the Champion of Magic. They were both made into honorary fairies.

Captain Atom: *staring at the bowl of fairy liquid the Winter Fairies gave them* “Marvel… I don’t know if it’s a good idea to drink a foreign substance that looks like an oil spill.”

Marvel: “Oh trust me, it’s not dangerous or anything. It’ll just give you wings!”

Captain Atom: “What-”

Marvel: *downs his bowl*

After that, all the Winter fairies shied away from them as their wings were too hot for them. After all, Marvel’s was comprised of lightning which is hot, and Atom’s was comprised of the same matter as his energy blasts which were also extremely hot.

Marvel: *leans over to whisper* “Don’t worry. I can magic them away when we leave this place.”

Captain Atom: *lets out a little sigh of relief as he resumes eating his remaining ice cream*

[dunmeshistash]

Do you know where the “mithrun is the most grizzed masculine elf take” comes from. All I think about is the changeling thing but no one calls Marcille the most masculine elf for being ripped as an orc compared to Tade. Or that he trains a lot, which is also not an inherent masculine thing. To me Mithrun doesn’t really look different to any other (male) elf we see. Is it from the extra’s or something?

Yes that take comes from the changeling transformations of both Mithrun and Senshi. The joke is the Senshi is the "most femme dwarf" and Mithrun the "most masc elf" in contrast with how they look in their original forms

I do think the joke kinda got out of control in the game of telephone that fandom is, instead of a fun observation of how we might perceive Mithrun more feminine than he is and Senshi more masculine than he is due to our own biases based on their races it got taken way too seriously as "the only true and correct interpretation"

I don't think Mithrun is especially masculine or feminine when it comes to his personality, I understand some people have been peeved by others making him maybe too meek/girly compared to canon but I feel like the response of making him way more aggressive/manly than canon is just as inaccurate and it's kinda upsetting when I see "fandom vs (my interpretation of canon) canon" as if they're any more right for going to the extreme opposite

We don't really know if Mithrun is specially "masculine" for an elf either, the only elf that we know is especially "masc" is Otta, and we only know cause her bio says even elves mistake her for a man (I think for most of us she looks as androgynous as the others)

Here's a post discussing elf gender presentation more in depth if you're interested in the subject but all we know is that Mithrun works out a lot and is very muscular (which signals 'manlyness' for us but might not for elves) there isn't much that point out to him being especially manly or especially feminine compared to other male elves. He also has lost most of his desires and doesn't express his preferences much so I think it's safe to assume he doesn't really pick how he presents himself (clothing and such).

Other than that and being stoic (is that a super manly trait?) Mithrun is pretty average I think. He's also still super cute even as a tallman (as if looking manly would stop you from being cute)

But another trait of him that seem to make people read him as "super manly" it's that sometimes Mithrun is scary and aggressive, I'm not even going into why that's bad (correlating aggressiveness with manliness is uh…. not great….) not even to mention he only acts that way when he's triggered by wanting to take revenge on the demon, otherwise he seems to avoid hurting others.

Related to the "Mithrun is a super manly elf" take I've even seen people argue that drawing him looking too "cute" and small is incorrect (probably just because of his tallman self) but that's how Kui draws him herself.

I don't understand why correct others for drawing him the same way his creator does, he's designed to look this way, there's nothing to "fix" about his original design either (nothing wrong with drawing him in a way that appeals to you more tho, fanart is fanart just don't harass other people)

Anyway just to stress the point that he is very average let's compare him to Lycion and Pattadol

The average height for elves is 155 for males and 150 for females Mithrun is 155cm, Lycion is 170cm and Pattadol is 160cm, they're both taller and have a sturdier looking builds than Mithrun

Kui often draws Pattadol specially with a sturdier build than Mithrun actually

So no he's not the most buff biggest elf ever in any sense (although he IS a muscular elf), and I don't think the changeling transformations are too objective since they're magic. For example Pattadol as a human is pretty average even tho she's big compared to other elves (not to mention Senshi half-foot who has a huge beard that half-foots don't seem to be able to grow)

[unacknowledgeable]

SK!Reader x Yan!Batfam: Not in the plan

I have thoughts about the batfam going yandere before finding out about Reader being a serial killer.

Because if the fam go yandere before finding out, this gives them time to formulate their own perceptions of the reader, based on their limited knowledge of them and a lot of wistful thinking, so there's now an illusion built that can be shattered. 

It’d definitely be a slower roll into being yanderes, because they view the Reader as a full civilian and obviously don’t want to scare them off. They only really have the media's view of the Reader, and Alfred's view to make assumptions off of, which both are pretty biased tbh.

 They end up forming this version of Reader that is quiet but charming, social but reserved, irritable but kind, meek but shrewd, etc etc.

So they start off slowly, with little things, like Tim bumping into them on the street then offering to buy coffee, running into Steph while buying groceries, Jason waving at them from across a clubs dance floor, Bruce cutting in during their chat with Gordon at a Gala, getting “leftovers” from Barbara whenever she brings her dad lunch at the station, being asked for your math notes by Duke, Cass having Alfred give you tickets to her dance recitals, Damian entering rooms you’re in without making a snide comment, Dick inviting you to family game night–

The list of tiny ways they try to insert themselves is endless and every new acknowledgement from the family leaves the Reader fucking terrified.

Reader stares, bug eyed, at Tim for his offer, falls into a shelf at Steph's excited hello, downs a shot before running to the the club's bathroom to climb out the window when Jason tries to approach your seat at the bar, tripping a waiter to distract Bruce while you ditched the Gala, nearly back handing Barbara because you were listening to music and you didn't hear her come in, asking Duke ‘what math notes?’ ...while studying said notes, saying ‘no, you couldn't make the recital because you had to water a friends dog that day’ before quickly leaving the kitchen, throwing a book at Damian when he moved to close because the only times he’s ever been this quiet around you is when you're inevitably stabbed, or flinching so hard when Dick reaches out a hand to clap your shoulder, he thinks he somehow actually hurt you and the look of fear in your eyes gives off such a startling sense of deja vu, it leaves him despondent for the rest of the week.

 So now the batfam are thinking “Why the fuck are they panicking so much? oh god did we seriously fuck up so badly they're afraid of us?!?!?! DD: Why are they so uneasy??? It can’t just be because they’re estranged from them. Can it??” And now they're getting increasingly desperate to fix this because this wasn't supposed to be so difficult, but now it is and that's making it more intriguing and thus higher on the family’s list of priorities. 

Meanwhile… from the start, the Reader is just-

Because despite outward appearances, Reader is constantly paranoid as fuck. We’re talking Batman levels of paranoia. Hard not to be when he’s literally your dad. You have contingencies for your contingencies, escape routes by the dozen out of the city and out of this mortal plane itself, if needed. You had plans for every conceivable possibility, just not for this. 

You're now met with such a glaringly obvious flaw in how you go about life in general, the way you live and how you operate as a serial killer, it all hinges on the idea of the family never turning their attention your way. It wasn't even an option and now it’s happening and you had no idea how to function because this isn't normal at all. Now you're actually forced to put in more than 25% of brain power to bury any possible leads and dissuade any possible connections to yourself and the silent terror on Gotham, while also trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Safe to say, this cat and mouse game is no longer fun for you.

I'm meltingggg. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, I'm going to bed bleh

X-X

Masterlist

[theragamuffininitiative]

Hi I have opened a can of research worms, which is something I do for fun and then often regret! 😃 Nothing is ever as simple as we want it to be. I am NOT an expert on any of this. Just being the "huh I'll look that up" person that I am, I went and started looking stuff up:

First, a very brief note about pesticide/herbicide use in US foods vs other countries. Not going to go with any particular links here bc this issue is so huge, and is the macroscopic version of the questions asked here. A cursory Google search returns this right off the bat - while not a surefire burden of proof, I love me a string of .gov, .edu, and .org websites all agreeing with each other:

Anyways, it is a very demonstrable fact that the US uses a list of chemicals other places have banned. Usually this has nothing to do with allergies and a lot to do with how those chemicals are carcinogenic (or might be, more on that later).🙃🙃🙃 Yay America.

Ok. More on the "is something right or wrong with American wheat" subject:

Kansas Wheat Comission + Kansas Association of Wheat Growers site talking about the major wheat varieties grown specifically in Kansas. Note how they keep saying the majority crops are hard wheat with high protein and gluten strength. This is just talking about Kansas but as Kansas is the highest wheat producing state, it seems to be a pretty good example of the broader picture.

To @emeraldchase's theory, I think it's important to point out the breeding of specific wheat varieties that do have stronger gluten content was not necessarily about the increase of gluten in the wheat but the increase of all proteins in the wheat, of which gluten is only one compound. The two just happen to be inextricably linked. And gluten, for all it gets a bad reputation, is what gives many baked goods their specific body, texture, etc. Additionally, hard wheats (higher gluten content) tend to actually be MORE expensive, as opposed to soft wheats (lower gluten content) due to requiring more nitrogen-rich soil. So. Gonna set that point aside without additional details.

What Kansas is to America, France is to to the EU. (You will probably never see that analogy anywhere else.) France's wheat yield is having a rough time, so sorting past recent articles about poor crop returns made finding links way too difficult but: more than half of France's wheat crop is used domestically, both for animal feed and human consumption. The very vast majority of French wheat is soft wheat.

Italy is not the EU's highest grossing wheat supplier, but it's the one I ended up reading about first so have this info too: Turns out most hard wheat used in Italian pastas and some breads is a type of durum wheat called grano duro, and it is not imported; it is grown in Italy (aka free from American agricultural practices. Common wheat, or grano tenero, is uh...also mostly locally grown in Italy, from the other side of Italy, and makes up the majority of their wheat crop and exports. This is the soft, weak gluten type.

Remember how the Kansas wheat is primarily hard wheat? Both France and Italy primarily grow soft wheat. The majority of American wheat does have higher gluten content than European. Have fun looking up the wheat growing practices of the other countries and states, I got lost down seven rabbit holes before coming up for air.

While both the US and Europe tend to export/import much of their crop yield, the majority of wheat sold to citizens in the US is domestic, and the majority of the wheat sold in Europe to citizens is grown in Europe.

So what about visiting Europe and being able to eat gluten? Potentially due to the softer wheat used, but not all of it is soft wheat, particularly in breads. It could be related to the widespread use of fermentation in Europe. It could be that you're on vacation and eating fancier, more controlled portions, with lower stress. It could be the heirloom / organic foods and less processed foods in general. If you are gluten sensitive and want to test it at risk of ruining your vacation, have at it! If you are celiac, please do not try European gluten at risk to your health and safety.

Ok so what about Glyphosate:

An independent scientific article from 2013 talking about the chemical, with charts about increased usage, links to disease including celiac, and adverse affects on gut bacteria as outlined by the user above. (This paper seems to be the one most people refer to. It is important to note this is one article, and that they are basing their conclusion on reactions in fish. It is incredibly interesting, but not conclusive.)

Wheat grown using our good ole pal Glyphosate is NOT currently banned in the EU, as the allowance of its use was extended back in 2023 for at least another decade. While there is a related carcinogenic risk with Glyphosate based compounds under certain conditions, it is inconclusive that Glyphosate itself is harmful - thus the not banning. (Partial bans exist in some countries within the EU.)

Here is a cursory overview about the herbicide, addressing the gluten issue but leaning toward the other very bad health outcomes which are beginning to be linked to the high usage of glyphosate. (Note, this is a dietician website and they say they are not moved by fads, which is very funny coming from a field that is constantly changing according to fads but hey.)

So now you're thinking "ah! We have higher gluten wheat and flour, AND we use these herbicides. Clearly this accounts for Americans having higher rates of celiac disease." Unfortunately for my time spent researching this to come to that triumphant conclusion ... it.. isn't true. America simply does not have a higher number of diagnosed celiac disease than other nations. So. A higher gluten content in American wheat, although not nice for the gluten-sensitive, does not appear to be causing the problem. Neither do the nasty chemicals, actually. Maybe we're just diagnosing it more than we used to. Idk man.

It seems it can much more truthfully be stated that celiac/gluten allergies can potentially be linked to human genetics, and to modern wheats in general, so that heirloom organic varieties are better. Not necessarily bc of the herbicide used, but yeah sure maybe. However. That herbicide can still poison you or give you cancer, so the high amounts if it in our food should still be concerning and I'm all for banning its use anyways.

To op's question, "How do we fix what's making people's bodies not tolerate wheat"..... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ < scientific conclusion from multiple sources.

TLDR; Most nations have similar rates of celiac diagnoses. Glyphosate may or may not contribute to celiac development, but it may also cause cancer. Heirloom and organic wheat varieties (plus other grains and foods in general) are maybe less likely to be linked to celiac disease (and cancer and many other issues) or to aggravate it due to their protection from modern herbicides and pesticides, and from not being bred to increase protein (and gluten) content. Possibly.

Personally I think the medical profession should stop asking "what normal God-made nutritious foods that have been staples of the human diet for 5,000+ years do people need to completely cut out of their diet to be healthy" and start asking "how do we fix what's making people's body not tolerate wheat"

[royalarchivist]

This is what it feels like every time a new SMP has streamers I like

[echo-riot]

Posting somthing that isn’t sevika???? Unheard of

Anyways-

VI DATING HEADCANONS + a Cute Drabble

Vi is naturally protective of her girl. Whether you’re in Piltover or Zaun, she insists on walking you home, her arm wrapped securely around your waist. If anyone so much as looks at you wrong, she’ll shoot them a death glare—or worse.

Vi is incredibly touchy. She loves holding your hand, resting her chin on your shoulder, or pulling you into a hug from behind. Her love language is physical touch, and she craves that connection constantly.

Vi shows her love through actions. She’ll fix things around your place, bring you your favorite snack, or leave her jacket draped over your shoulders when you’re cold.

Vi loves simple dates—grabbing greasy food from street vendors, exploring Zaun’s markets, or sparring with you just for fun. But she’ll also surprise you with occasional grand gestures, like taking you to a rooftop to watch the city lights.

Vi tries to play it cool, but she’s easily jealous. If someone flirts with you, she’ll wrap an arm around your waist and kiss your temple, making it crystal clear you’re hers

She doesn’t care much about social norms or what others think. If someone makes a snide comment about you, she won’t hesitate to step in, fists clenched and ready to defend you

While she loves teasing, Vi has a soft spot for calling you endearing names when it’s just the two of you—“baby,” “love,” or even a unique nickname tied to an inside joke. She tries out the weirdest nicknames for you too, ranging from “Snuggle Punch” to “Hot Pocket.” The worst part? She says them with complete sincerity. You had to veto “Big Toe”

Vi has exactly three cooking settings: “burnt,” “raw,” and “how is the fire alarm not going off yet?” Every date night she insists she’ll “nail it this time,” and every date night ends with takeout and her swearing vengeance on your oven.

She constantly tries to convince you that chips and energy drinks are a balanced meal. If you so much as suggest eating a vegetable, she’ll dramatically gag and say, “I didn’t survive the Lanes to die of kale poisoning, babe.”

Vi sucks at being low-key when she’s plotting a surprise for you. She’ll come back from shopping with a giant bag, shove it behind her back, and loudly declare, “You didn’t see anything! Nope, definitely not a gift for you in here!”

If you work out together, Vi’s that girlfriend who slaps your back and yells, “ONE MORE REP, BABE!” like she’s training you for the Zaunite Olympics. But the second you spot her doing squats, she’s flexing and asking if you’re checking her out.

She has zero chill when someone flirts with you. She’ll immediately put on her gauntlets (if she has them nearby) or crack her knuckles and stare the poor soul down while saying, “What part of ‘taken’ did you miss, buddy?”

Vi has horrendous taste in movies and insists on watching the cheesiest action flicks with you. She’ll quote every single bad one-liner like it’s gospel and randomly yell, “EXPLOSIONS!” during quiet scenes.

Vi is the queen of spontaneous dumb ideas. “Babe, let’s wrestle.” “Babe, I think we should dye your hair pink.” “Babe, dare me to jump over that fence.” (Spoiler: she’ll do it whether or not you dare her.)

Vi texts like she’s trying to solve a riddle, constantly sending random emojis that make no sense. “🏴‍☠️🥊🔥🦖” somehow translates to, “I’m at the gym, love you, want pizza later?”

Vi snores. Loudly. And if you try to wake her up, she’ll grumble something like, “Shut up, babe. I’m fighting shimmer thugs in my dream.” She also steals all the blankets and leaves you clinging to the corner of the bed like it’s a survival raft.

If she gets the tiniest injury, she’ll act like she’s on her deathbed. “Babe, I think my pinky’s broken. You might need to kiss it better. No, wait, kiss my whole hand. Actually, better make it both hands—just in case.” (Only for you though.)

Vi loves hitting you with the dumbest pickup lines imaginable. “Are you shimmer? ‘Cause you’ve got me addicted, babe.” She’ll then smirk like she’s the smoothest person alive.

————————————————————————____________________________________________

You sat at a table in the corner of The Last Drop, sipping on your drink while Vi sulked dramatically next to you. She had her chin propped on her hand, eyes darting to a group across the room. You followed her gaze to a couple of young women laughing and glancing in your direction.

“Vi, they’re not even looking at me anymore,” you whispered, trying not to laugh.

“Oh, they were looking, alright,” Vi grumbled, narrowing her eyes. “I saw it. That one in the green? She was trying to undress you with her eyes. And not even subtly.”

You rolled your eyes. “They were probably just curious about your big, scary gauntlets. Or the fact that you stomped in here like you own the place.”

“I do own the place when I’m with you,” she said, dead serious. Then she grabbed your hand and laced her fingers through yours. “Look. If anyone tries anything, I’ll break their noses. Just blink twice if I need to go over there.”

“Vi,” you said, squeezing her hand, “no one’s coming over here. And if they do, I can handle myself.”

She glanced at you, clearly skeptical. “Babe, I love you, but you once tripped over your own feet walking to the kitchen.”

You burst out laughing, making her smirk.

“Oh, you think I’m funny?” she teased, leaning closer until her face was inches from yours. “What’s funny is the fact that you can’t stop thinking about me.”

“Oh yeah?” you said, leaning back with a grin. “You’re so cocky. What would you do if I wasn’t thinking about you?”

Vi’s expression turned mock-serious. “I’d probably throw myself into the Hexgate,” she deadpanned. “Start a new life on the other side of the world.”

You snorted. “And then what? Punch your way back to zaun?”

“Damn right,” she said, sitting up straight and puffing out her chest. “No one gets to steal my girl’s attention. Not even a Hexgate.”

Despite her ridiculous antics, her thumb gently traced circles over your hand, grounding you in the little moment you shared. You leaned into her side, your laughter dying into a soft smile.

“You’re an idiot,” you murmured.

“And you’re stuck with me,” she shot back, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.

Yeah, you were stuck with her. But with Vi, life was never boring—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[anubishoarmurath]

I was actually thinking about this post in the context of Russia and Russia's war in Ukraine. And how a lot of Russians do support the genocide and murder of Ukrainians, and how there is even translated proof of that. If you know Russian you can go anywhere and find endless amount of Russians laughing at dead Ukrainians and making fun of them. So, I do admit I am wary of Russians. Because if Russia was attacking Estonia, they would be laughing about my people too. But - that does not mean it is okay for me to attack every single Russian person for existing or for being abroad. In the example of the Chinese professor - it would be acceptable to ask for them to be fired if they constantly said ugly shit about Uyghurs and/or included genocide supporting material in their teaching. But asking them to be fired just for existing - nah. And this is also what OP said anyway with "so, I boycott particular corporations and individuals who I see as contributing to the oppression of these people". And I apply the same to Jews, Israelis and Palestinians as well. I don't chill with people who make fun of other people dying. But to be honest - in my time on the hellsite for the last few years, I don't think I've ever seen a Jew or Israeli make fun of Palestinian suffering and laugh at their deaths. The countless comments of random western lefties bullying Jews or Israelis though...I've seen that.

If somebody does or says something objectionable, go ahead and boycott them.

If an individual has not done anything you can point to as particularly objectionable, but you want to boycott them because they're of a particular nationality, then you're not disagreeing with a particular action, opinion, or viewpoint. You're objecting to a particular kind of person.

For example, I object to the CCP. I believe they are carrying out genocides against Tibetans and Uighurs. I understand, however, that my objection is with the CCP and not Chinese people. So, I boycott particular corporations and individuals who I see as contributing to the oppression of these people (Huawei, for example). I do not object to Chinese nationals being in films, being hired at my university, and I regularly consume art and media created by Chinese nationals.

If I objected to my university hiring a Chinese professor, I would rightly be called Sinophobic. I would be doing something racist. This wouldn't be a boycott, it would be bigoted and discriminatory behavior.

You should object to certain actions and attitudes, not to certain kinds of people.

[adieutristana]

Jinx and her girlfriend stopping Vi and Caitlyn's wedding just for fun

LMAOO?? this is messy… anyways of course! thank you for the request <3

summary; jinx and her girlfriend crashing caitlyn and vi’s wedding.

characters included; jinx (romantic), vi (platonic), caitlyn (platonic)

tags/warnings; crack kinda, fluff, caitvi, mentions of war/combat, in-laws

men dni.

stating that jinx doesn't like caitlyn kiramman is like saying that grass is green.

saying that she doesn't like caitlyn with her sister even more so.

she’s tried to be patient, tried to appreciate the fact that her sister had someone to love and love her in return. despite the fact that that someone was a topsider, an enforcer no less.

could she not find someone in zaun that would be just as good for her? someone who wasn’t allied with the people who killed their parents?

regardless, jinx came to terms with the relationship as time went on. jinx and vi weren’t exactly on good terms to begin with- and getting herself involved in vi’s relationship wasn’t bound to make things any less tense. while vi knew that jinx didn’t approve of the relationship- especially after the stunt she pulled with kidnapping the two of them, the two of them didn’t talk about it explicitly.

caitlyn had grown to tolerate jinx, sometimes even going as far as to show genuine concern for the girl and talk to her in her own time. their encounters had always been fleeting, no more than a few sentences exchanged, but it was peaceful. it was something. she could live with this, jinx thought.

that was until they got engaged.

“hey, jinx. caitlyn and i recently got engaged, and while i know you’re less than happy about the relationship, i still want you to be there. you’re my sister and i don’t want you to miss this. you’re welcome to bring your girlfriend with you. i’ve put the invitation in here, love you.

-vi”

jinx is seething next to you, fighting herself to not rip up the stupid envelope and throw away the stupid invitation and curse out her stupid sister. your hand on her shoulder with your thumb gently running along the skin, doing everything you can to soothe your girlfriend.

“baby, she’s just trying to include you… you’re sisters.”

you whisper, voice low and soft as you can manage. she shakes her head and goes to start picking at her cuticiles- which you have to physically stop her from doing.

“she’s doing it to get to me. she can’t be actually marrying her, can she?”

she says through gritted teeth, and you can’t tell if jinx is trying to ask you or herself. you can’t tell if she wants an answer, either, but decide to not give her one for fear of making things even worse.

the girl is almost rocking herself forward and back in an effort to try and stop herself from doing something she’ll regret, and it breaks your heart to see her like this. after caitlyn shooting off her finger, after the war, the way that caitlyn spoke about zaun and its inhabitants, you could understand perfectly well why jinx wouldn’t approve of her. but this was worse than you’ve ever seen her in regards to the issue.

it was finally settling in that caitlyn was there to stay. maybe part of jinx was convinced that this would all blow over, it was a phase, and vi would wake up and realize that she didn’t need her. despite the fact that jinx told her she deserved to be with her.

“i shouldn’t have said that. i shouldn’t.”

she mutters. it truly does break your heart to see jinx like this, so distraught and torn. she tried to be supportive, tried to see things from her sister's point of view (especially with your help), but she just couldn't.

you let out a heavy sigh, observing your girlfriend's pained expression. part of you wants to keep trying to talk to her and comfort her, the other part wants to let her have time to think and process everything. either way, you'd be there the entire way through. but sometimes with jinx, despite how long you've been together, it can be difficult to tell the exact thing she needs. but for your own conscience, you have to know that you at least tried.

"jinx... we don't have to go if you don't want to."

you offer, pressing close to jinx so that your shoulders are now touching. your approach is careful. if she doesn't want to take it, she doesn't have to, but it's something at the very least. she lets out a shaky breath, keeping her gaze downcast. it's like she's begun to shut down.

"no... no, we'll be there. we'll be there."

she mumbles. voice barely audible, but stern.

✧.*

"you're sure about this?"

you ask, hands occupied with tying a black tie onto jinx.

"yeah, i'm sure. all according to plan, right?"

she smirks, hands on her hips. you'd decided to go to a secondhand shop in the undercity to grab some clothes for jinx that would be acceptable for a wedding- gods know she doesn't have any. a simple white long-sleeved blouse, black tie, and black slacks. not too polished, not too flashy, but just formal enough for her sister's big day.

you'd also taken it upon yourself to carefully braid jinx's usual unruly hair, despite her (playful) protests. though the way she relaxed under your touch and her shoulders dropped the moment your fingertips grazed her scalp told you everything you needed to know.

"alright, ready!"

jinx exclaims before grabbing the last of her things and swiftly grabbing your arm, leading you toward the exit of her hideout. she seems oddly energetic- possibly even giddy. she hadn't been excited for this day at all until coming up with one of her typical schemes, and now it seemed as if the girl was just itching to get to the chapel.

while reluctant at first considering these were about to be basically your in-laws, you found yourself agreeing to jinx's plan. you've always been on board with the chaos innate in jinx, but the way she lit up as she described her so-called 'master plan' to you cemented that you simply couldn't say no. it was a fun idea, and jinx was counting on you to help enact it. who were you to refuse her?

✧.*

the kirammans have truly outdone themselves.

a large chapel decorated with luxurious shades of blue and gold, with hints of bright pink thrown into the flower arrangements. chandeliers, soft candlelight, windows of stained glass and pews large enough to sit an entire city.

you and jinx exchange a few polite yet drawn out 'hello's, 'nice to see you's, and 'thanks for coming's from council members, ex-fighters and members of the remaining kiramman clan.

you slide down a white pew near the front of the chapel with jinx, one that had been reserved for vi's guests. jinx huffs, folding her arms out onto the edge of the pew in front and resting her chin on them.

"just got here, and you're already bored?"

you tease, tilting your head to look down at the girl.

"yeah. this sucks."

"it hasn't started yet."

"yeah, and it'll suck worse when it does."

jinx starts bouncing her left leg, heel quickly tapping across the floor and nearly echoing through the large room. she huffs, looking to the altar, then back, toward the aisle, all around, waiting for something to happen.

"and you're completely sure that we're doing this, right?"

jinx nods, giving a little 'mhm.'

you'd discussed the plan several times in the days leading up to the wedding. jinx hadn't left a single base uncovered in terms of timing, execution, what to say, what to do. one of your favorite things about her had always been her tendency to get wrapped up the second that she really puts her mind to something. whether that be jinx drowning out any external noises while tinkering, using all of her strength to handle weapons twice her weight, or scouring all of zaun for materials, her dedication was always evident.

guests continue pouring in, and it seems as if caitlyn has invited the entire population of piltover. maybe she has. unsurprisingly and unfortunately, there aren't many on vi's side, but the ones that are count. jinx, yourself, a few old friends of vi's from the lanes, and seemingly some new friends and colleagues. vi's circle had always been small, but the people in it were of such high value.

yourself and jinx pass a few more minutes with jinx's head on your shoulder, exchanging soft kisses in anticipation for what's to come, fixing jinx's tie and simply people-watching. before the chord of a pipe organ is heard, and all heads turn to the back of the room- where caitlyn is being led down the aisle by her father.

that dress alone could cost more than the lifetime salary of ten zaunites. regardless, it's beautiful. sleek, pure white, with a silver tiara atop loosely curled blue hair. the room is still, the only things moving being the two kirammans. the moment is picturesque, it's captivating.

shortly after comes vi, walking down the aisle by unaccompanied. she looks considerably more anxious than her fiancee, but with so much pure glee that it's weighed out. she anxiously looks over at her side of the chapel, her face softening the slightest bit when she lays eyes on jinx. the girl gives her a soft smile, and although jinx doesn't react, you almost swear you could see vi mouthing something to her sister.

when both women are on the altar and the ceremony starts, it's like gears begin turning in jinx's head. she takes your hand into hers, squeezing it against her lip as her eyes turn to you.

"ready, toots?"

she whispers, the slightest smirk evident on her expression. you nod, squeezing her hand back. neither of your eyes move from the scene unfolding in front of you. caitlyn and vi with their hands clasped, looking into each other's eyes so lovingly as they exchange vows. everything was in place, you'd made sure everything was planted and taken care of before the actual event.

"if anybody should object to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."

jinx immediately shoots up from her seat, hand raised high.

"yeah, i've got somethin'!"

she keeps her gaze on the now bewildered couple as you pull a remote from your pocket, triggering pink and blue smoke bombs from the corridors of the chapel. the crowd immediately erupts into a scatter of screams, people rushing from their seats and trying to take cover. just some colored smoke bombs; nothing that would cause harm, but sure as hell enough to cause a commotion. jinx places her hands on her hips, shaking her head.

"just some smoke bombs... pussies."

she remarks, before grabbing your hand and beginning to make her way out of the chapel with haste. not before turning over her shoulder and yelling, "tough luck!" to the couple first, though. you're giggling beside your girlfriend as the two of you run off into the streets of piltover, not even sure of your destination. only enjoying the thrill of it all and the feeling of running off into nowhere with each other. jinx's laugh is infectious, the sound ringing in your ears as she pulls you into an alleyway.

your girlfriend quickly presses your back to a wall as she grasps your waist, grinning at you.

"how was that for a wedding?"

"pretty damn good."

she barks out another laugh, before connecting her lips to yours.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

never watched the good doctor n never plan to. so maybe not good person talk about this. but never plan to watch it because in fact kinda hate it (mainly because once someone be ableist about high support needs autism n excuse it using shaun & say how they know what HSN is because they call shaun is, n quoting, “very high support needs” n he very. much. not. but anyway) — so this also give weight to what am going say

do see how people make fun of shaun (main character). like “i am a surgeon/sturgeon” memes n so much more. my favorite show house md & keep especially see meme compare house with sean autism to make fun of shaun—make fun of irony of “shaun be explicit autistic but bad autism representation & house not supposed to be / not explicit (depend on interpretation) autistic but somehow way better autism rep than shaun” situation. like:

[id: two meme compare sean with house about autism.

1: left side is shaun screaming/meltdown in “i am surgeon” scene with “bad autism rep” write on top. right side house in prison suit with “good autism rep” write on top.

2: twitter screenshot from rooster @/ househiscane. left is picture of shaun n have “autistic doctor” non capitalized on top. right is picture of house with stereo n “AUTISTIC doctor” on top, with “AUTISTIC” in all caps. at time of screenshot, have 648k views.

end id]

n again, never watched the good doctor. so maybe in show there truly part where not great n ableist n problematic autism rep. BUT.

from all these memes. n all these people justify how they hate sean how them make fun of shaun is okay. don’t see evidence for how shaun & show represent autism in some truly problematic way.

instead. see visibly autistic person. see people describe trait of visibly autistic person. see people make fun of visibly autistic traits. see a visibly autistic and low support needs person.

see same rhetoric used by non autistic AND AUTISTIC people to make fun of n be ableist to me, visible autistic (high support needs) person. that am embarrassing. that am stereotype. that “no autistic person act like this.” that “you make me embarrassed be autistic.” that am make autistic people look bad. the r word.

every single one of those thing, have heard it also be use call shaun.

versus. house, he’s asshole, he’s visibly asshole, n because of that he’s dynamic he’s well rounded. but he’s not visibly autistic.

n so suspect in big part, or even, entire unspoken point of these comparison, or meme against shaun, is because. house is not visibly autistic so relatable n thus good to audience of mainly high masking autustics. he the real autism rep. he the good autism rep. he the ACTUALLY autistic rep. shaun is visibly autistic n thus not.

from crowd that champion unmasking! be free! be yourself! but say nothing, or in this case nothing good, about people who cannot mask or be put in genuine life danger if choose unmask. from crowd that say autistic meltdowns not tantrum! normalize autistic meltdown! it’s okay! don’t record or make fun of or comment on someone’s worst moments! but make fun of visibly autistic person meltdown in public.

although should not be surprised. should not be! this same crowd that not know what visibly autistic actually is. or even not believe it even exist. same crowd that think unmasking will make them visibly autistic same way it make me visibly autistic. same crowd that think it mean just some occasional happy hand flapping. same crowd that call themselves visibly autistic because they do those occasional hand flapping n in next sentence complain about be told “but you don’t look autistic.” same crowd that say autism not have look. same crowd that permanently group autism into invisibly disability.

same crowd that cannot fathom autistic person different from them.

same crowd that bully n exclude n speak over n be ableist towards me.

like it the autism show to acceptable make fun of, it the autistic character to acceptable make fun of. it the show n character where u can let out all your offensive edgy ableist anti-autistic feelings, go mask off about it. it acceptable. everyone do it. even autistic people do it. especially autistic people do it. especially high masking autistic do it. autistic people who do it n justify it okay because they autistic n that grant them free pass.

criticize how any show represent autism badly problematically. that okay! that acceptable! that great! not telling you you can’t. — don’t doubt in the good doctor there not parts that make you wince in bad way because it speak terribly for autism.

but if all your “reasoning” for why that autism rep is. traits of visibly autistic person. or, (not applicable in this case), traits of high support needs & traits of level 2/3 autism. it’s not criticism you just ableist.

you all say visibly autistic people get enough rep already that it’s time for low support needs invisibly autistic high masking autistic women (& white—but shhh that part shouldn’t be say out loud) be in center of representation.

you all can’t even handle a visibly autistic character that’s low support needs and CISGENDER WHITE MAN.

once again. am hate this fucking show. n am here defending it.

is it genuinely bad rep or is character just visibly autistic.

[aroaceleovaldez]

do. you consider the graphic novels to be canon (in some way)? and if so, what do you make of sadie and carter wearing the chb and cj t-shirts respectively at the end of tot i think

I consider the graphic novels to be their own individual canon - they're an adaptation of the source material and follow a different series of events than book canon, so they're in the same category as like the movies, show, or musical to me (and DS game, lmao). They exist completely separate from the canon they're adapting from, so they're their own entities.

The material I consider strictly "canon" is the first series, so Percy Jackson And The Olympians only. Then HoO and TOA as extraneous canon on top of that - sort of a like "recommended but optional." TKC and MCGA also kind of operate as their own canons within themselves but can be linked to main PJO canon, so similar category. Published companion novels and similar material (so like Singer of Apollo) are also optional add-ons.

Stuff like Un Natale Mezzosangue and Nachos After The War where they weren't ever formally published are non-canon official material to me, kind of in the same vein as promotional material released alongside the books (the activity guides and such). The official art exists in the same sphere to me. I also personally consider CHB: Austin's lore to be semi-canon or non-canon official material, because they're actually affiliated with Rick Riordan (he has directly interacted with the camp's activities in the past) and I think it's just kind of cute.

The ReadRiordan articles are just straight up strictly non-canon. They just are. That is just an objective fact about them. I am slightly more lenient towards some of the old official Riordan website's media, like the interactive Argo II map descriptions, just since those descriptions were one-and-done and presumably had to have been approved versus a ton of articles with different anonymous unaffiliated authors. It's at best in the same category as the non-canon official promotional material.

As for Sadie and Carter wearing camp t-shirts - it's a cute cameo! And also kind of interesting in that they're technically one of first official published depictions we have of the camp shirts with any kind of details on them (the old official art doesn't count actually cause that was also bonus material).

[thewadapan]

Maybe Nost's best story! Also his least fun. Definitely did not like reading most of it. Would recommend reading... maybe any of the others over this one?

I think with The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen, Nost has managed to write a book which is haunted.

Stepping back a little. Herschel Schoen seems to have been conceived almost as a short story, which only happens to be as long as it is as a result of the (deliberately) belaboured and verbose prose used by all the narrators. It's much closer to The Northern Caves in this respect, which I remember as being mostly straightforward and intelligible, with only the highly-divisive ending leaving me with a dangling "??????" to grapple with. Meanwhile, with Floornight and Almost Nowhere, I often struggled to keep up with the object-level facts of what was even happening in the plot/world, and I feel like I mostly read those stories "on vibes", following them mostly in terms of their subtext.

So yeah, Herschel Schoen to me felt like it was using the "fairytale" format of being a Christmas story to streamline things as much as possible, such that both the object-level events of the story and the batshit conceptual-melting-pot subtext were more or less legible to me, despite Herschel's incredibly unreliable prose. There is a sense in which it feels like a children's story to me. It has very few characters, and those characters are extraordinarily archetypal.

So I do think Almost Nowhere retains its crown as Nost's most ambitious, most revolutionary, and most complex novel—if I say that I found Herschel Schoen "better", it's only because I feel I was able to understand it. It speaks more to my failure as a reader than anything.

In terms of my experience as a reader, it was fairly similar to that described by @recordcrash in his review. Most of the story is a fucking struggle to get through, mostly because of... the prose? The pacing? These issues are really the same issue: what few events occur in the book take ages to describe, and the fact that every recounting takes forever means that there physically isn't room to cram in more events. And as Makin Recordcrash puts it: I just don't enjoy hearing the thoughts of an unwell mind, particularly at length. All of Nost's books have it, this entirely-made-up concept which "you just wouldn't understand" but which it nevertheless will tell you about at length. There's Salby and mundum in The Northern Caves, there's Azad and the aliens in Almost Nowhere, there's whatever the metaphysics shit was in Floornight (I forgor), and this is the book that has the most of it, proportionally.

(My girlfriend bounced right off it- actually, let me use this opportunity to tell a story. When we first met, we were talking about the internet or something, and for whatever reason at one point I unironically said something like "oh yeah I read this cool novel set on a forum but you probably wouldn't have heard of it" and she just went "oh do you mean The Northern Caves?" and I briefly became convinced that she was some sort of psyop intended to oneshot me, a notion I have still not been able to shake over two years later. Point is her remark on the first two chapters of Herschel Schoen was something like "it's too Nostalgebraist for me", which I think is understandable.)

Anyway, like Makin, I struggled with most of the book, only for Chapter 21 to be so fucking good that it sort of retroactively made the rest of the book good, at least insofar as it was mostly necessary to set up such an audacious ending? Even knowing that this had been Makin's reaction, I wasn't prepared to believe it—again, usually Nost books are very much the other way around—but lo and behold, the twist is in fact very clever, very fun to read, and very aligned with my aesthetic interests.

All that said, I do feel like Makin sort of bombed through the book (by comparison, it's taken me almost two weeks to finish it), and maybe missed out on some of the more fun and interesting stuff the book is doing on a thematic level. Below, I'll try to delve into my interpretations in more detail.

I've seen a few takes from people that the main thematic throughlines of this book are a bit disconnected from one another, but to me this couldn't be further from the truth.

I identified four main themes, in descending order of prominence: "neurodivergence", "AI", "media", and "capitalism". I guess you could say "Christmas" is something of a fifth ur-theme, which dovetails into these in superficial ways:

Neurodivergence—the idea of "believing in Santa Claus" is framed as stunted development, a delusion which reveals someone to be less mature mentally than they are physically. The book is specifically concerned with contrasting dysfunctional "child" behaviour with functional "adult" behaviour, flipping these ideas on their head by having Ruth and Miriam basically lose it over the course of the story. A sister inverted. Also, the "preparations" needed to be made before Christmas morning are very much analogised with obsessive compulsions, right?

AI—like Santa Claus, something which promises to fulfil all our wishes, instantly, at the same time.

Media—particularly in terms of relations between Christianity and... secular Christmas, right? The story is very much riffing on the structure of Christmas stories specifically. To me, it feels like a world literally dreamed up based on Christmas stories. That, more than anything, is why it's set in New York, I think.

Capitalism—notions of "wanting", of meritocracy. I don't know, we all know "A Christmas Carol", I don't need to explain this one.

Like, if I had to guess at the genesis of this book, based on Nostalgebraist's comments, I feel like it's taking the starting point of "story about what if the AI doomers were right" -> "through the lens of Christmas" -> "[everything else in the story]". Of course there are tons of other influences in there, but those to me feel like the two ideas with the most explanatory power.

But even if you discount the underlying idea "Christmas", I don't think you could tell a good story about AI (in its current form) without writing about neurodivergence, media, or capitalism. If we're tasked with imagining a non-human mind, it makes sense to first imagine the most-non-human human mind, right? If we're talking about the machine's output, its facsimile of media, we have to talk about the real thing too, right? And if we're asking about the purpose of AI, what exactly it is we're trying to industrialise, what scarcity we are trying to erase, then we have to talk about capitalism as well! For me this was all perfectly obvious, I dunno.

I was pleased that I noticed many of the same things @weaselandfriends identified in his list of observations on the book. When it described the wall of doors in the living room, my mind went, "that's fucking weird!", though I didn't really think too deeply about it. The same things goes for all the anachronisms, which I think is one of the story's best gimmicks. Yes, for most of the story, they serve to create a "timeless" atmosphere, evoking all these Christmas stories at once, while simultaneously putting into doubt the reality of what Herschel and Miriam are describing.

But then, of course, with the twist, I think it's pretty hard not to read these as anything other than hallucinations conjured by the AI. And what I think is particularly brilliant is that the story at no point calls direct attention to the anachronisms as being of particular significance—you only notice them because you know enough "facts" about the real world to notice them—which naturally calls into question the elements of the story which are wholly ficticious, where there's no ground truth to compare against. Just how real are Herschel, Miriam, Ruth, anyone!? And does it even matter how real they are?

Part of the book's "magic trick", as I read it, is that both interpretations of Herschel's POV are able to coexist within the reality of the story. We can imagine that there really existed a boy perhaps called Herschel Schoen (just as we can imagine there really existed a guy called Jesus? This is silly, pretend I didn't say that) who perhaps lived in New York City and lived with some kind of delusion, perhaps regarding an Original Creation that only babies remember. Like, even this much isn't certain, perhaps Herschel is entirely hallucinated; the story is in fact preoccupied with the question of whether or not there's even any difference. Anyway, at some point, the AI apocalypse happens (I think this is one thing we can be pretty confident about), and for the AI's own purposes, Herschel is resurrected/recreated (again like Christ- disregard this aside!) in an "emended" form, where whatever changes are made mean that he is in fact right about the Original Creation and the future etc, his mind really was tampered with. The concept of "emendation" seems to me to be the biggest point in favour of the book overall believing that a substitution is not the same as the original; that the "transformation" of one shape into another does not mean it becomes the other, as its own history remains distinct (much as the "original" events of whatever happened to the "original" Herschel on the "original" Christmas Day can be said to have, in some sense, happened—and cannot, should not, be "forgotten"). But maybe these elements of the story were intended to be disparate, though, or related in some other way, and I'm just conflating them?

One of my favourite interpretations that I've seen raised in a couple of places is that Herschel's writings, with which he literally armours himself, are in fact literally protecting him against oblivion, because the AI can only learn based on the written word or recorded speech. It doesn't really matter what happens to the papers, so long as they are written at all. Herschel pours so much of himself into those papers so as to be understood, and in the end he is understood—if not by Miriam and Ruth, then by the only being he needs to be understood by: this machine. He secures his own existence, in at least some limited form, in the "Original Creation", simply through his writing. I think Herschel is the "most real" part of the story.

It's Miriam, though—the second-"most real" element—that I think makes this story haunted. It's the way she packs all those papers into a suitcase, and for the briefest of moments you can breathe a sigh of relief, that we're one step closer to understanding how this book came to be, in-universe. But immediately, it's obvious that this explains nothing, it explains less than nothing, because there are all these chapters which just don't fit, they can't be neatly contained in that suitcase. Bavitz draws direct parallels between the inexplicable frame narrative and the anachronisms, and he's absolutely right to do so. The story is often very careful about providing something which looks "quite right", at a glance, but the moment you think about it, this pit opens up under you. Something about this metatextual conceit actually makes my skin crawl.

It feels pat to say, "oh, that's because it's trying to evoke AI hallucinations". I feel like that's only part of it, because again, most of Nost's novels have this to some extent. But yeah, I think if you wanna read Herschel Schoen as a horror novel, then this is what is scary about it. Conceptually, everything with Miriam mainly recalls for me the idea of "crashes" from Almost Nowhere, which were one of the big horror elements there, the idea that the world you're walking around in is actually, imperceptibly, some kind of not-world filled with not-people. But more directly, I find myself remembering a bit from the third act of OCTO (a criminally underrated and under-discussed webnovel) where a superintelligence is trying to "resurrect" a human, and keeps putting her in increasingly-lifelike simulated "habitats" to try and create the right set of "inputs" that will make her function properly—i.e., without just like, screaming. I feel like that is what we see happen to Miriam in this book. I feel like, when the lights go out, at the end, it has nothing to do with light at all: it's more that the machine just no longer needs to simulate a world for Miriam, at all. The transmission stops. And then what becomes of her?

I think this sort of brings us to Ruth, doesn't it? A big point is made about how there's a difference between "Miriam" and "my sister, Miriam". As though in the latter, the reality of "Miriam" in the training data is watered down by all these tropes surrounding sisterhood. I mean, fuck, maybe that's where the incest stuff comes from, right? I feel like similarly, there's a reading for Ruth where the AI is first conflating these images of "a mother" with these images of "a terrorist". She acts like a fucking cartoon character for much of the book, as many of the less-well-drawn characters do, and I think that's entirely deliberate. As she draws more on the "terrorist" tropes, she stops being a "mother". And again I think this is what Nostalgebraist has always done so fucking well, in that the bullshit sci-fi allegory stuff can also just be read on an entirely character-driven level: here is a resentful, neglectful, ultimately abusive mother, here's the emotional reality of that, heightened and communicated.

I think this provides a vague stab at an explanation for the beating scene that Bavitz found so confusing. It's like the AI draws on this trope of like... the mother, in the kitchen, with the frying pan. It puts the pan in her hand. But it's not actually a frying pan, it's just the image of a frying pan. In reality, did Herschel's mother beat him? How did she beat him? Hell, maybe she didn't, maybe the AI just got so caught up in playing out the trope of the abusive parent that is gets to the point of this beating, and then just dream-logics itself to the next thing in its training data, where of course the beating never happened. I don't like that, it feels like we're gaslighting the kids here (which I think is very much the allegory intended) by saying it was just a hallucination. I think something like it happened in reality, and cannot, should not, be "forgotten". But I think the book does want you to think that its depiction does, in some way, break from reality. Hell, in much the same way that child abuse might be said to break the reality of family? Nah, that's too pat, isn't it?

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that, ironically, I found the novel was at its best, and at its most human, when it was writing frankly about the experience of mental illness, about family, about institutions, about childhood. So what's maybe frustrating is that I'm not actually convinced Nost is capable of writing a... shall we call it a "normal" story about those things? A story with no metatextual bullshit, no sci-fi conceit, but a realist story. There are parts of all his books, where I really think that the explanation for why they are the way they are is that they are "bad on purpose", and all the bullshit is a way of turning these shortcomings into strengths. The self-effacing voice which whispers that the characters aren't sufficiently well-drawn, are too cartoonish—well, what if that was the point? What if there was a reason for that, in the story?

But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Straightup, if these were normal stories set in reality, I wouldn't be fucking reading them. This is a web author who's trained himself on a bunch of classic lit, and a bunch of anime or whatever, and has smooshed those influences together and rocket-fuelled the result. It's inimitable. I deeply admire just how experimental Nostalgebraist's writing is. No-one else is doing it like him.

Anyway, what else. Herschel gets described as having a "shell" at various points, and Frederick's surname is "Eggert". Is that anything?

The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen

My fourth novel, The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen, is now available in full.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

[laurellala-comics]

I've been having so much fun with my Ace Attorney comics lately but I've been feeling the pull to do original stuff again. So to ease into the transition, here is my (very first!) comedy zine. You may spot some familiar faces B)

Thanks for reading my goofiness! I'm including some nerd thoughts about zines under the cut

Zines are sooo cool and I assume most people have heard of them since this is tumblr BUT if you haven't! Zine is short for magazine (pronounced "zeen" it does not rhyme with vine). It usually refers to handmade pamphlets that can be created by folding and cutting a single sheet of paper, which is what I did, but it can be used for any sort of self made publication. The goal is to make something that can be reprinted and shared so mine is technically not in the spirit of that because of all my little interactive details but shh that's fine. Zines have been used in sooo many ways (Was Martin Luther's 95 theses not in a way the first zine (this is a joke)) but they are especially recognized as part of the punk movement as a way of fighting back against mainstream media and of sharing information around! It was a way to get around censorship and spread the word about social movements and political messages buuuut it has also always been used to share fun things, like music recommendations OR FAMOUSLY. STAR TREK SPOCK KIRK FAN FICTION (this is real and there are academic papers about this). Some of the earliest m/m fanfic was passed along through zines because they did not have ao3 back then! All they had was a typewriter and a dream! It's actually sooo silly, but I took a class in college that heavily emphasized these zines as leading to the fandom culture we had today, so they really did shape the world we live in today. Tumblr posts are like our own little zines that we share, with our own messages and thoughts and yes even hand drawn gay people...

Anyway, like I mentioned, in these fandom spaces you had queer zines that were about explicitly romantic and sexual relationships between fictional men. At the time, slash shipping was not the most common way to engage with fandom, but today it has become very mainstream and widely accepted amongst the fandom. But you know what queer behaviors are still not mainstream within fandom spaces, even within queer fandom spaces? Aro ace rep babyyyy. With that in mind, I feel like what is considered radical and abnormal these days in queer fandom spaces is to engage with fictional men (or any characters) from an aromantic or asexual lens. And so I am here to hold your hand and walk you through the wonderful radical world of imagining non-romantic scenarios with fictional guys. You can have so much fun with it and I think more people should do it. What if you stood in line at the bank and your favorite anime man was in front of you. What if you had to go in for jury duty and the guy from five nights at freddy's was there. What if you went to the library and spock and kirk were both there researching the history of zines. In a world that expects us to prioritize one normative romantic and sexual relationship as the big thing that will bring you happiness and fulfillment, it is radical to say "actually, i could probably still be really happy and fulfilled if i had some cool friends to hang out with and do mundane things with. And also what if those friends were fictional lawyers."

Anyway. Thank you to all the spirk shippers who worked hard to get us here, I will pick up your mantle and continue to push against societal norms but with fewer sex scenes this time around. Not that you aren't valid for that, this is just personal preference. The end. Go make a zine everybody.

[startheskelaton]

I'm not sure how Nightflyer and Soundblsster met Sparkplug, but I guess they met her at Earth.

So I'll do my interpretation of how Nightflyer and Soundblaster got on Earth.

Nightflyer was at the palace as usual, going to his berth after he finishes all work for the day he overhears from his sire's chambers about space bridge and how it can take someone to a different planet.

Interested, he begs and pleades Soundblaster to help him try the space bridge, which Soundblaster soon agrees with, using this as an opportunity to get rid of Nightflyer.

So they sneak out and go to the room where the space bridge is kept, and they eventually find it after a few miss ups at which room is it and knocking a few guards or less.

They tried using the space bridge, but it went wrong, and they both ended on the same planet called Earth. They ended up in different places, Nightflyer ended up in the same forest where Optimus first arrived and met Spike, and he's amazed by Earth's beauty while Soundblaster ended up in near fancy human city as he wondered where the living FRAG he ended up.

And that's pretty much it. You can tell me how they actually ended up

Also, I think Nightflyer and Soundblaster would love Earth and its culture.

Nightflyer like Optimus from idw comic and maaaaaaaybe Repunzel from Tangled would fall in love with Earth's beauty and its creatures and plants since he never saw that back Cybertron where everything's metal. To his, this would be a dream come true since, like you said, he's into mutants and plants.

Soundblaster wouldn't like it at first, but then he sees humanity's arts, creativity, literature, museums, and many more humanity has to offer. Like Nightflyer, this would be a dream come true to him, too, since he's into art and literature.

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Bonus: Back on Cybertron, Starscream and Shockwave panicking where the living Primus where their sons went and screaming at anyone while Slipscream tries to eat her energon cereal.

Anyway i really love your ocs and I wish to know more about them. I really love how you have progressed the story so far. I love it.

Actually the real answer is a good bit different, however I love the story you made, It was vary fun to read!

This is how it really went down.

Shockwave chose Nightflyer in particular to be the one to go to earth undercover, he did this because he knew that Night was so loyal to his family, that he wouldn't change sides if need be (this would be proven right later). Nightflyer was absolutely mortified when he was told that he needed to go to earth, not because he didn't like earth, but because he would have to go alone to make the plan look believable. Also he would have to purposefully crash his ship on the planet... but the alone thing was more of priority for him.

He dose make it to earth and makes the ship crash, making it look like he desperately trying to escape from Cybertron. He would be found and taken to the Autobot base (after checking him for tracking devices) where he would be questioned and checked to see if his arrival would bring more enemies to the planet. He was kinda blacked out for a while (because of the crash) when he was sent to Ratchet's med bay to undergo an emergency check up. And who just happened to be the reluctant medical assistant on hand? Sparkplug. She really had to fight her dad in order to stay and help with the exam (she really wanted to be part of something exciting, and a random hot guy falling from space was definitely exciting).

They properly met during tryouts for being put on a mission team. Nightflyer passed well (however he needed to hide his full potential as to not tip off that he was part of the Cybertonian guard). Sparkplug on the other hand passed with shockingly flying colors for a bot her size, however was immediately turned away by Megatron (this is because Sparkplug has been training most of her life to be qualified for off base missions, however is shot down by her dad each time at the qualifying tests. Like her late father, she's not one to take rejection lying down, so she has trained for years and gone to every try out. Much to Megatron's dismay, this has only forced her to get stronger then she would have been if he had passed her earlier).

At first Sparkplug is kinda spiteful against Night simply because he was able to go on missions despite being so new to the autobots, however something makes her look at him differently... she notices he's lying. She has no idea what about but she can feel it, something about his story is too perfect, he's moving up the ranks too quickly and cold outer shell doesn't fit with someone who wanted to break away from his original faction. So when she finds him in the library one night, she corners him, and he breaks... but not fully. He reveals his true personality to her, but not his mission. He is vary genuin about how he feels trapped by having to mask all the time, that no one would take his seriously if he was himself, and how he genuinely felt oppressed by the "the strong rule the weak" mentality of the Decepticons. In return, Sparkplug opens up about her strange existence and confusing expectations people have for her. That she needs to be a replacement but not a copy, to have prime's kindness but none of Megatron's anger, love herself for being special but listen to everyone talk about how freaky her existence is. And after that night... Sparks start to fly between the two.

Soundblaster met Sparkplug in the middle of space.

Eventually the time comes and the seekers (slipstream and company) show up on earth and it's revealed that Nightflyer was a spy the whole time. And a dangerous one at that, actually able to go up against a good amount of the autoboots. This breaks Sparkplug's heart because she talked to Nightflyer a LOT, she had no idea if any of that was real or not. It didn't help his case when he immediately sided with his sister, going back to being a deception due to his loyalty to his family.

However during this shit show, who arrives but the DJD, taking advantage to the situation to try and take Sparkplug in order to make her a new Megatron. Seeking a chance to be praised by Shockwave, Soundblaster is able to grab Sparkplug admits the chaos (capturing the last remints of Optimus prime would be extremely useful in manipulating the public or just making a super weapon) . However due to a mix of Skywarp's powers fucking up along with Slipstream's (she has the same power's as Skywarp), Soundblaster and Sparkplug are warped halfway across the universe. This now forces our characters to try and find Spark before anyone else can.

When coming to, Sparkplug is absolutely livid at Soundblaster and immediately attacks him. But due to the situation, they reluctantly come to an agrement, get somewhere where they can get back to Cybertron or earth, then fight about it then. This forces the two to work with one another to try and make it to intergalactic space station without dying. During this time, Sound only communicates through mores code, never speaking once. However him and Sparkplug have a good amount of conversations, slowly opening up to one another. They really hit it off when Sparkplug is able to relate to Soundblaster, but admit that he defiantly had it worse then her (nightflyer on the other hand saw himself and Soundblaster as equally out cased despite the huge power discrepancy). She's able to see him for who he is, what he was supposed to be, and who he wants to be... and this makes Soundblaster throw away his loyalty to the decepticons and decide to be loyal to Sparkplug herself.

OH MY GOD this was a long post, I could go on but I need to stop myself before this becomes an essay.